Children & young people
Although domestic abuse happens between grown-ups, children see and hear what is happening and it affects them. Children can also be hurt or bullied as part of domestic abuse.
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Types of abuse
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Domestic Abuse is when a person is bullying, controlling, threatening, aggressive or hurts another adult in your home. Domestic Abuse is not okay and no -one should have to go through this. Children & Young People living in homes with this happening can have lots of feelings about what is happening and can feel scared, confused, sad, worried and angry. It is not their fault that this is happening
Domestic abuse can happen between people who are married or in a relationship. It can happen when people live together or in different houses.
Although domestic abuse happens between grown-ups, children see and hear what is happening and it affects them. Children can also be hurt or bullied as part of domestic abuse or feel scared.
Domestic abuse can be:
- Physical – for example, hitting, pushing, kicking
- Emotional – sayings things to frighten the other person or make them feel bad
- Sexual – making someone do sexual things that they don’t want to
- Financial – such as taking away the other person’s money, or not letting them get a job
Domestic abuse doesn’t just happen once, it’s not just an argument or a falling out. Grown-ups use domestic abuse to control other people. If someone in your family is abusive, remember it’s not your fault and the person being abused is not at fault either.
If you or your mum are being hurt and need help right away, you can call the police by dialling 999.
You should give your name, address and telephone number and tell the police what is happening. Don’t hang up because the police will call back to make sure the call isn’t fake and this could give the abusive person the chance to tell them everything is okay and the call was a mistake.
The police will come to your house and talk to the adults involved. They may even talk to you. They should make sure you are okay and have not been hurt.
They may take away the person who was abusive. Whatever happens you should remember that it is not your fault and the abuser has got themself into trouble by committing a crime.
If you are not in danger, the best thing you can do is speak to an adult you trust about what is happening. Maybe someone like a teacher, or perhaps a relative. You can also get in touch with an organisation like Childline (0800 1111) or the NSPCC (0808 800 5000) – calls are free and you don’t even have to give them your name.
There are lots of people who can help you and your mum – you don’t need to feel alone. Everyone has the right to be and feel safe.
HOW THE CYP SERVICE CAN HELP?
The CYP Service provides 1-1 therapeutic confidential support to children from aged 3- 18 years to support them with their experiences of Domestic Abuse.
Our Children & Young People’s Team are here to help and support you even though you may still be living in a house where hurting & fighting/ domestic abuse is still happening. Our workers can: -
- Be a trusted person that will listen to you and not judge you.
- Offer support using creative resources and approaches so you don’t have to talk all the time.
- Support you with your feelings.
- Help you to understand that domestic abuse is not okay and help you to understand what a positive and healthy relationship is.
- Help to keep you safe
HOW CAN I GET SUPPORT?
You can phone our support line or get an adult to phone or complete a referral form for you.
Workers usually meet you at school but if you don’t want this to happen you can meet at our premises or somewhere else that is a safe place to meet.
DOMESTIC ABUSE IN YOUR OWN RELATIONSHIP
Young people can also experience domestic abuse in their own relationships. You may feel scared or uncomfortable with the person you are seeing. They might be telling you what you can do, wear or who you can and cannot speak to or be very jealous. They may threaten you or be lovely to you at times and nasty other times blaming you for their behaviour. This is not okay, and you don’t deserve to be treated like this. Our workers can give you confidential support with this too.
To refer for support please complete the referral form or call our support line number – 01738 639043.
Some children and young people who have had support through our team have shared that -
My worker really listened to me and helped me. I drew pictures to tell her how I was feeling, and she understood.
Before I met my worker, I was so worried and confused and felt alone. I feel so much better now and not on my own.
How can we help you?
We strive to ensure that our services are easy to access throughout Perthshire and we provide tailored support to individual needs.
We’re extremely grateful for those who have bravely shared the following stories, which highlight how we can help.
Your refuge gave me the first and only opportunity to escape the abuse my children and I were still part of. As I lived near the children’s father I felt I couldn’t escape them not seeing him, and after a year of being around him with the kids every Saturday my mental health completely plummeted.
I would like to thank you. As a victim of abuse I found it really helpful and learned a lot. I can now recognise abusive personalities and avoid to put myself in abusive relationships in the future. It helped me understand what I’ve been living in and why it was so wrong. Also I have learned to see early signs of abuse. Thank you so much to Women’s Aid Perth for letting supporting me in my native language of Polish. There are so many women who will get benefit of it as they struggle with English and also talking about feelings in my own language is more comfortable.
Our partners help us play a vital role in supporting women and children affected by domestic abuse.